Why We’ve Normalized Postpartum Depletion

By: Natalie Marchione, DNP, CRNP-PMH, CPPNS

If you ask a group of mothers how they’re doing, you’ll often hear the same responses.

“Tired.”

“Exhausted.”

“Running on caffeine.”

“Just trying to survive.”

Many women assume this is simply part of motherhood.

That feeling depleted is expected.

That exhaustion is normal.

That constantly operating with an empty tank is just the price of loving and caring for a family.

But what if we’ve normalized something that was never supposed to be normal?

What if the problem isn’t that mothers are struggling to keep up?

What if the problem is that we’ve come to expect women to function under conditions that would challenge anyone?

At Rooted Postpartum Care, I believe one of the most overlooked conversations in maternal health is postpartum depletion.

Not because mothers are weak.

Not because they’re doing something wrong.

But because motherhood places enormous demands on the body, mind, and nervous system—and many women are trying to meet those demands without adequate support or replenishment.

What Is Postpartum Depletion?

Postpartum depletion is not an official medical diagnosis.

Rather, it describes a state in which the physical, emotional, and nutritional demands placed on a mother begin to exceed the resources available to support her well-being.

For many women, depletion develops gradually.

A season of poor sleep.

Months of putting everyone else’s needs first.

Skipped meals.

Stress.

Pregnancy.

Breastfeeding.

Mental load.

Lack of support.

One challenge alone may be manageable.

But over time, the accumulation can begin to take a toll.

Many mothers don’t recognize depletion because it develops so slowly.

They simply adapt.

Then adapt again.

And again.

Until exhaustion starts to feel normal.

When Exhaustion Becomes Expected

One of the most concerning aspects of modern motherhood is how quickly exhaustion becomes accepted.

A mother says she’s barely sleeping.

Everyone nods.

A mother says she hasn’t sat down all day.

Everyone nods.

A mother says she can’t remember the last time she ate a meal while it was still warm.

Everyone laughs.

Somewhere along the way, extreme exhaustion became a badge of honor.

The more depleted a mother is, the more dedicated she is assumed to be.

Yet we would never expect someone recovering from surgery, caring for another person around the clock, and sleeping in short fragments to perform at their best indefinitely.

Why do we expect it from mothers?

The Nutritional Demands Nobody Talks About

Pregnancy requires significant nutritional resources.

Birth requires recovery.

Breastfeeding requires energy, fluids, and nutrients.

Healing requires building blocks.

Yet many mothers receive detailed information about feeding their baby while receiving very little guidance about nourishing themselves.

Many mothers are surprised to learn that nutrients influence far more than physical recovery alone.

Iron helps support oxygen delivery and energy production.

Protein provides amino acids that serve as building blocks for healing tissues, hormones, neurotransmitters, and recovery.

B vitamins play important roles in energy metabolism and nervous system function.

Minerals such as magnesium are involved in hundreds of biochemical processes throughout the body, including muscle function, sleep, and stress regulation.

Omega-3 fats contribute to brain health and remain important during both pregnancy and the postpartum period.

This does not mean every mother who feels exhausted has a nutrient deficiency. Nor does it mean nutrition alone explains maternal mental health.

But it does highlight an important reality: recovery requires resources.

The body cannot continuously give without replenishment.

And yet many mothers spend months pouring energy into caring for everyone else while receiving very little support in restoring themselves.

In many traditional cultures, postpartum meals were viewed as part of the recovery plan.

Today, many mothers are eating standing up at the kitchen counter while bouncing a baby on one hip.

This isn’t a failure of willpower.

It’s often a reflection of how little support many mothers have.

Nutrition is not the only factor that influences maternal well-being.

But it is difficult to feel your best when your body is consistently being asked to give more than it is receiving.

The Connection Between Digestion And Mental Health

One area of maternal health that receives surprisingly little attention is the relationship between digestion and emotional well-being.

Researchers increasingly recognize that the gut and brain are in constant communication through what is often called the gut-brain axis.

This communication network involves the nervous system, immune system, hormones, and the trillions of microorganisms that reside within the digestive tract.

Many mothers notice digestive changes during pregnancy and postpartum, yet few are told that digestion is connected to much more than what happens in the gastrointestinal tract.

While digestion is only one piece of a much larger picture, it serves as another reminder that mental health does not exist separately from the body.

Mothers are often taught to think of physical health and emotional health as two separate conversations.

In reality, they are deeply connected.

Sleep Deprivation Is Not Benign

Sleep deprivation has become so common in motherhood that many people stop seeing it as a health concern.

Yet sleep affects nearly every aspect of physical and emotional well-being.

Mood.

Stress tolerance.

Memory.

Concentration.

Hormonal regulation.

Decision-making.

Emotional resilience.

Most mothers do not need a reminder that they’re tired.

What many mothers need is acknowledgment that fragmented sleep carries real consequences.

The body was never designed to function indefinitely without adequate restoration.

The Invisible Weight Of The Mental Load

Not all depletion is physical.

Some of it is invisible.

Remembering appointments.

Tracking feeding schedules.

Monitoring developmental milestones.

Managing childcare.

Planning meals.

Buying birthday gifts.

Scheduling doctor’s visits.

Knowing when everyone needs new shoes.

Many mothers carry an extraordinary amount of mental responsibility that often goes unseen by others.

The mental load requires energy too.

And like any resource, energy is not unlimited.

Why Mothers Think They’re Failing

One of the most painful consequences of postpartum depletion is that many women do not recognize it for what it is.

Instead, they blame themselves.

They assume they should be coping better.

They tell themselves they should be more patient.

More organized.

More productive.

More grateful.

More capable.

They look around and see other mothers appearing to manage everything effortlessly and wonder why they are struggling so much.

What they often don’t see is that many of those mothers are struggling too.

Modern motherhood has created unrealistic expectations for what women should be able to carry.

Care for the baby.

Manage the household.

Maintain relationships.

Remember every appointment.

Keep up with work.

Exercise.

Prepare healthy meals.

Stay emotionally available.

Look like themselves.

Feel like themselves.

And do it all with minimal support.

When exhaustion, overwhelm, brain fog, irritability, or emotional fragility begin to appear, many mothers interpret these experiences as evidence that they are somehow falling short.

But depletion often disguises itself as personal failure.

The mother who cannot concentrate may believe she lacks discipline.

The mother who feels emotionally reactive may believe she lacks patience.

The mother who feels overwhelmed may believe she is not coping well enough.

The mother who struggles to find joy may believe she is doing motherhood wrong.

In reality, many of these experiences can occur when a person has been carrying more than their body, mind, and nervous system were ever designed to carry without adequate support.

The problem is not that mothers are failing.

The problem is that many mothers have been taught to expect superhuman performance during one of the most demanding seasons of life.

And when they inevitably struggle under that weight, they assume the problem is themselves.

It isn’t.

Sometimes what looks like failure is actually exhaustion.

Sometimes what looks like weakness is depletion.

And sometimes what a mother needs most is not more effort—but more support.

What Mothers Need Is Not More Willpower

When a mother feels depleted, the answer is rarely to try harder.

She does not need more pressure.

She does not need more guilt.

She does not need another reminder to be more productive.

She needs support.

She needs nourishment.

She needs rest.

She needs practical help.

She needs space to recover.

And sometimes she needs additional mental health support, guidance, or treatment as she navigates the realities of motherhood.

The solution is not perfection.

The solution is recognizing that mothers are human beings with needs of their own.

The Mother Matters Too

Perhaps one of the greatest myths of modern motherhood is that mothers should be able to endlessly pour from an empty cup.

But no one can give indefinitely without replenishment.

The truth is that many mothers are not failing.

Many are depleted.

And there is a difference.

At Rooted Postpartum Care, I believe maternal mental health deserves a broader conversation—one that includes sleep, nourishment, recovery, support, relationships, stress, and the realities of modern motherhood.

Because mothers deserve more than survival.

Because depletion should not be the expectation.

Because the mother matters too.

Whole Mother. Wholehearted. Rooted in You.

Resources & References

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2018). Optimizing postpartum care. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 131(5), e140–e150. https://doi.org/10.1097/AOG.0000000000002633

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2024). Postpartum care. https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/postpartum-care

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Depression among women. https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/depression/index.htm

Carlson, K., Vahora, S., & Greenberg, M. (2024). Perinatal depression. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing.

Cheng, C. Y., Fowles, E. R., & Walker, L. O. (2006). Continuing education module: Postpartum maternal health care in the United States: A critical review. The Journal of Perinatal Education, 15(3), 34–42. https://doi.org/10.1624/105812406X119002

Christian, L. M., & Galley, J. D. (2018). The gut microbiome and pregnancy: Implications for maternal health and birth outcomes. Current Opinion in Endocrinology, Diabetes and Obesity, 25(6), 465–470.

Kendall-Tackett, K. (2007). A new paradigm for depression in new mothers: The central role of inflammation and how breastfeeding and anti-inflammatory treatments protect maternal mental health. International Breastfeeding Journal, 2(6). https://doi.org/10.1186/1746-4358-2-6

Miller, E. S., & Hanley, G. E. (2021). Maternal morbidity and recovery in the first year postpartum. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America, 48(3), 585–596.

World Health Organization. (2022). WHO recommendations on maternal and newborn care for a positive postnatal experience. World Health Organization.